cancer...

my Friend is dying...

He lost the power that kept Him strong during 10 years of fighting with the cancer.
why? why now? why at all?

and that I am completely not prepared.
have no idea how to react.

I knew He had an retrogression. another.
one of so many.

and everybody believed this time will be just the same.
He will fight it off.
gain few more years...


I lost the hope.
why?
while this is the only thing I can do now.
to believe!
and pray.

and I don't!
what is wrong with me?
why I killed Him already when he is still alive?!?
why in the only moment when optimism and unreasonable faith in success is most welcome I start to be reasonable and pessimistic????



God, please, take care of Him.
be with Him, give Him strength to fight.
please...