.

I feel so fucking incredibly lonely...


one thing, the only one that I put my energy in for the last year really sincerely, has fallen apart with just one sentence.

it's too much for me.
too much pain.
too many times.

but life without people has no meaning for me.

I need to get tougher.
but I won't be that open, and my most favourite quality will be destroyed.

if I don't get tougher though...
next time I feel abandoned there will be no more power and willing to fight for the new day.

sounds overreacted?

this is how important it is for me.
people, relations, friendship, closeness




or others get hurt, or I end up crying and blue, or I don't have enough courage to get fully open and it makes pretty much no sense.


I was hoping that after Pit's visit I will be regenerated and happy that I know a good person.
instead I end up in much worse condition than before it.
so great.