stupid...

the more i think about a future job, an internship, even about my master work, the more stupid i feel...
i'm getting an impression that i don't know a thing!
when it comes to an essential knowledge from the field of my studies i am like a layman!
and my results are bad also...

when i was younger, i found myself as an intelligent person.
i understood things easily, i was able to study fast.
and painless.
now it comes with a big effort which i'm not used to completely!!

i feel hopeless...

i feel that i won't find any good job.

all of the adds i'm looking at are target to "high academic achievers" or "Candidates who have a strong academic background" or (the best one) "Candidates need to be studying Chemistry at A Level and should expect to get high grades."

aaaaaa!!!!!!

ok, i have some good sides. which actually look good on a paper...
but i don't feel like i was good!
i don't feel that i AM a STUDENT.
that i could be an employee at the position where i would have to use the knowledge i collected during all those years at the university. or that i at least have a background to start a job which has something to do with the profile of my studies.

i can't imagine it...
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