toss and turn...

I can't fall asleep.
(in the evening of course, when it's time for it. during the day I have no problems.)
I just toss and turn and think...
I make plans, I have energy and will to act, to put my thoughts into effect...
but whenever I wake up in the morning all that is gone.
it's like everything was starting from the beginning, like nothing happened in my head, like there was no yesterday...

except for laziness, apathy and no willpower.
that is always with me in the morning...
that stays with me all the time...


I am really fucking tired with it!
it's like a Groundhog Day...

when will I learn?