weird...

I feel really weird.

it's been over 4 weeks now that I don't go out.
stay only in bed and around the house.

it made me listless.


last Friday my father went for a weekend to my mother.
and he didn't come back.
he ended up in a hospital.
he will need a surgery most probably.
so he won't be here for the next few weeks.

the weird part is, that I've been waiting to be alone in the house, like forever, but since it's so unexpected I don't know how to deal with it.


yesterday evening my mother came.
she stayed over for a night.
but she drove back to Białystok already.

she came, she went...
left an emptiness again.


this evening my sister is going to Spain.
for vacations. 10 days.

I will be all by myself.


spiritless and apathetic.
that's who I became now.
a thought that occurred to me - I'd like to disappear.
evaporate like a water in a warm day.

no body, no problems...