travel...

1h10 minutes to go...

I am on the train now.
going to Białystok to visit my mother...

I really enjoy this trip.
I am looking through the window with an eye of a foreigner...
it gives completely different view...
much better view.
I feel happiness from the fact that what I see outside is so different from what you can find in Western countries.
I would never had this way of looking at the neighbourhood if not my Erasmus scholarship, my Erasmus friends and Erasmus students that came to my University...
that's really amazing feeling...



48 minutes to go...

I also try to organise my thoughts.
it's a 2h 40 minutes travel.
for me it is always the best time for sleeping.
this quiet speech of wheels, engine, wind and heating...
drops of rain on the window...
and I can see only 2 meters aside from the track that are lightened with the lights of the train.
snow is still here,
in Warsaw there was none any more...

I am thinking...
I read two good articles in the magazine.
one about Siberia...
and one about NLP - Neuro-linguistic programming...

Baikal is coming back over and over.

and this music in my ears.
I put on the mp3 player pieces that bring back memories.
U2
Juanes with La camisa negra
Chris Isaak
and some french chansons...

it is so difficult to put into words all what is in my head at the moment...

foreigners, sightseeing, long trips, learning languages, friends, feelings, being nice and good to each other, working on your character, 'maps' we have in out heads which we use to name the world, psychology, how to do things that I actually like? what would give me an opportunity to build a good future and life on that basis?


31 minutes to go...

old bus and again an impression that in this city only hopeless and clumsy people left...
young and good looking, brave and cleaver, with the hope for a better future, all them are somewhere else...

I am one of them?
I grew up in Białystok only by coincidence, life of my family was in Warsaw, whole my childhood I was waiting to come back to Warsaw. and I did. and I feel good. and I don't feel like I was cheating on Białystok.

the strangest feeling is when during any conversation, when Białystok is mentioned, I always say: 'that's where I am from!'
but whenever I came back here, I never feel like I was at home.

do I feel so when I step on the platform at the train station in Warsaw? yes. but this is only because here is more people like me, I don't feel different.


16 minutes to go...

and time to finish, battery is almost empty...

in 15 minutes I will step on the platform, in the city where I grew up, the place on the earth where I don't feel good at all.





where is the place where I do feel good?